road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Randomize
