he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
