went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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