I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
