there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
