Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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