he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
