Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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