I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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