i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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