Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
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I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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