wat bout pragnant strippers??
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
