ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Are we still banned from the library?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
