have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
