I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize