Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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