you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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