She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize