At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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