1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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