I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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