today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
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