Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
