Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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