I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
