I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Drunk is not a location!
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
