i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
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