how can u be prego again
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
