did you get engaged???
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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