i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
