Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry babaganoosh hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(806): View more from Texas

How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?

Fav 79 866 7889
share tweet
(646): View more from New York

Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?

Fav 5 1008 5010
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine

Fav 15 3770 1756
share tweet
(248): View more from Michigan

Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?

Fav 5 1188 2401
share tweet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(856): View more from New Jersey

Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion

Fav 7 3756 1025
share tweet
(318): View more from Louisiana

Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".

Fav 5 2577 1007
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(319): View more from Iowa

After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.

Fav 4 1462 826
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(978): View more from Massachusetts

I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"

(978): View more from Massachusetts

or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"

Fav 3 1121 786
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(415): View more from California

annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them

Fav 1 35 10
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT