community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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