I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
