i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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