I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize