I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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