I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Someone shattered a urinal.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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