How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
