Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
