shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize