how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
