You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize