I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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