Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
