no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
