Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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