Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
