Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
