dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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