I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How does it feel to date your dad?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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