Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
