Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
