Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
