Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
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hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
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I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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