i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
