Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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