Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
