I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I didn't notice because vodka
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
