she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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