Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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