How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
