this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Randomize
