recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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